How Not To Freeze Your Balls Off, Part II

Published on by in

New York winters are brutal, bone-chilling stretches. Some of us are crazy enough to work outside in them.

Sometimes the snow melts on your head and trickles down your neck and refreezes on your back. Sometimes the wind blasts across your wall, driving the temperature way below zero. Sometimes you pull paint and it literally just disappears because the oil’s beading up and refusing to stick to the surface. But you’re out there, 24/7/365.

The hardened walldogs who make it through those dark days know how to stay warm in the winter. Listen to their cold weather tips and you’ll never dread another bomb cyclone.

Meet the Experts

Coatney

Coatney has pulled brushes for 23 years (read: 23 winters).

Liam

Liam gets his cold-weather tips from his pug, Patrick Swayze.

Armando

Armando chills hard but is never cold.

Justin

Justin weathers ice storms by day, plays ice hockey at night.

Chucky Ray

Chucky Ray shaved his head. Knows good hats.

Charlie

Charlie brings Kentucky heat to these frigid streets.

Cold weather tips: Layer up

Layer Up

1. Down Under

Chucky Ray: Wear a down jacket as your first layer. It generates so much heat against your body that you only need a couple layers on top of it.

2. Au Naturale

Liam: Make sure your layers are natural materials like wool and down.

3. Bottoms Up

Charlie: Layer up micro wool thermals and fleece lined pants.

4. Less is More

Armando: Don’t wear more than three layers of technical gear. That three sweaters and five hoodies shit is too restrictive. It tires you out by the end of the day.

5. Shell Out

Coatney: Wear a windproof shell over all your layers.

Hot hands

Hot Stuff

Coatney: Put Hot Hands in every pocket. You have to be careful, though… they’ve been known to start smoking thanks to the combustible materials we use. I almost started a fire in Puck Fare one day!

Justin: It’s all about how many hand, foot, and toe warmers you can stuff in all your pockets, gloves, and boots.

Charlie: Stick adhesive hand warmers all over your body, over the main arteries: under your arms, on your ribs, over your heart, on your wrists. Some people put them in their hats, too.

How to stay warm in the winter: cold-weather tips for the extra kick

The Extra Kick

1. Bottle King

Coatney: As far as whiskey — or antifreeze, as we like to call it — I think it’s fair to say we haven’t met a bottle we didn’t like. As soon as we clock out, it’s on.

2-3. Tea Time

Armando: Keep a large thermos with hot tea. It helps warm your core. Coffee tends to dehydrate you and water freezes.

4. Girl Power

Coatney: On the coldest days, there’s not much you can do but shiver… and that’s when I resort to my secret weapon: think of hot chicks. (Sorry, but I feel it’s important to be honest.)